To get the blogging juices going I thought I would look up topic idea. A quick search on Google brought up list upon list of topics; I'm surprised :that writing a list of blog topics wasn't on one of the lists.
One suggested idea did ruffle my feathers a little though. "What is your opinion on depression? Made up or real chemical imbalance?"
MADE UP?!?! If you've been through depression or know somebody who has been through it, you know how real it is,
A number of years ago I hit a sudden rut in the road and rather than dealing with issues, I swept it under the mat and continued on as if nothing was wrong. Until around the time that a pea falling off my plate at dinner time was enough to send me to the bathroom crying. Why? I had no idea.
I pushed on through the crying over these tiny things until I felt like the dark clouds were on top of me; it felt like I had tunnel vision and was surround by this heavy feeling. I seemed happy enough and as if nothing was wrong when out photographing parties on the weekend, but it was just a mask that I would put on or person I would play. The reality was that although I had the Bearded One and was being social, going to all of these events, I felt absolutely alone.
I hated having depression (nobody likes having depression). One of my biggest worries while I was in the dark hazy cloud was that people would think I was making it up or they would question "what do you have to be depressed about?". I still have these feeling when I talk about that one time depression got the better of me.
Having a history of depression has meant that I have been the receiver of concerned looks from doctors, nurses etc when it comes to being a mum; I'm lucky and I have dodged the postnatal depression bullet, but to the medical professionals I'm a ticking time bomb, well that's how their concerned expressions make me feel.
I don't know how the Bearded One would cope if I suffered postnatal depression. I would just shut down, switch off and become a zombie. I'm lucky to have such an understanding and caring human in my life, I was surprised he didn't just give up on me when I locked myself in the bathroom over a rogue plate jumping pea.
From time to time I have brief encounters with depression, but since I've learnt what to look out for, I can kick it in the butt before it has a chance to grab hold.
I'm not really sure what the end story of this blog entry is. It's not to get sympathy (I hate sympathy), it's not to have you walk on egg shells around me (I'm not weak), it's definitely not to boast (depression isn't a pissing contest). I guess it's just to let you know that you're not alone.
One suggested idea did ruffle my feathers a little though. "What is your opinion on depression? Made up or real chemical imbalance?"
MADE UP?!?! If you've been through depression or know somebody who has been through it, you know how real it is,
A number of years ago I hit a sudden rut in the road and rather than dealing with issues, I swept it under the mat and continued on as if nothing was wrong. Until around the time that a pea falling off my plate at dinner time was enough to send me to the bathroom crying. Why? I had no idea.
I pushed on through the crying over these tiny things until I felt like the dark clouds were on top of me; it felt like I had tunnel vision and was surround by this heavy feeling. I seemed happy enough and as if nothing was wrong when out photographing parties on the weekend, but it was just a mask that I would put on or person I would play. The reality was that although I had the Bearded One and was being social, going to all of these events, I felt absolutely alone.
I hated having depression (nobody likes having depression). One of my biggest worries while I was in the dark hazy cloud was that people would think I was making it up or they would question "what do you have to be depressed about?". I still have these feeling when I talk about that one time depression got the better of me.
Having a history of depression has meant that I have been the receiver of concerned looks from doctors, nurses etc when it comes to being a mum; I'm lucky and I have dodged the postnatal depression bullet, but to the medical professionals I'm a ticking time bomb, well that's how their concerned expressions make me feel.
I don't know how the Bearded One would cope if I suffered postnatal depression. I would just shut down, switch off and become a zombie. I'm lucky to have such an understanding and caring human in my life, I was surprised he didn't just give up on me when I locked myself in the bathroom over a rogue plate jumping pea.
From time to time I have brief encounters with depression, but since I've learnt what to look out for, I can kick it in the butt before it has a chance to grab hold.
I'm not really sure what the end story of this blog entry is. It's not to get sympathy (I hate sympathy), it's not to have you walk on egg shells around me (I'm not weak), it's definitely not to boast (depression isn't a pissing contest). I guess it's just to let you know that you're not alone.